The Battle with Technology

Well, as good as i may have thought that I was in my own world... I was wrong.

This week i collectively lost most of the technological things that i value. iPod was stolen, iTunes music was not backed up or synced, computer wiped, Windows 2007 taken away, and my external hard drive did NOT back up what I thought it did, my videos will not play and Netflix won't work.

As things happened one after another i tried to reassure myself that things would be okay. It is JUST an iPod, just some music (3356 songs to be exact) and just some programs and pictures lost. I have been so blessed in so many ways that i should be able to look past it all and be joyful about life none the less.

Unfortunately during this process I realized how much I use these mediums to drown out my pain though. When i started to get stressed and upset about one thing I would look to one of the other mediums to forget my sorrows in, but when there was no program, no song, no picture to distract me... the only thing left was sleep or eating, but I felt sick and couldn't sleep. For so long I have really turned to these technological distractions to get my mind off of the pain I was experiencing in other parts of my life.

NOW I was forced to turn to GOD to vent my problems and struggles to. On top of all the losses, I am currently living back at home during transition and going from being completely independent and having an apartment basically to myself to having one room and tons of people always wanting to be with me and go places with me and talk with me. This is a stressful environment I think for anyone, but especially for someone like me who doesn't handle stress all that well.

I told my roommate last week between finals and graduation that I was stressed and anxious because I had nothing to do and nothing to worry about and I felt like I needed something to worry about, so I worried about not worrying.

In stead of focusing on all the things I haven't lost at this point, I really need to look past the things in my life. Things...

If ALL the things in my life were taken away I need to be able to say I would be joyful because I know Jesus is my savior and that this life needs to be devoted to Him and nothing else. HOW MANY TIMES do I fail at that!? too many.

Will I never change? Thank goodness God is a never changing, good God.